Most “bucket list” activities are ones that interrupt all the conceptualizing — all the internal commentary — and force you to be with your own humanity. As fun as roller-coasters or sky-diving may be, they aren’t required for a fully-experienced life. We simply have to get that we don’t have access to our experiences anymore — just our memories of them (which, as you might consider, are a little distorted sometimes).
This year,give up invalidating yourself. Relating to yourself as incapable. Making yourself wrong. Give up resisting the parts of yourself you don’t like, for when you resist the rapids, you get hurled into stones. Instead, celebrate them. For what’s celebrated is acknowledged, and what’s acknowledged is heard, and what’s heard becomes quiet.
Nothing wrong with following your dreams, but it’s important to get responsible for the narrow thinking it can result in. When dreams are the shot-caller, we’re easily tricked — blinded, rather — into the rock and the hard place. We naturally think that actualizing that dream is the sole route to experiencing the type of happiness that breaks the Richter scale of elation.
Contrary to popular belief, reactions are not at the heart of the matter. A reaction is merely a by-product of what’s given rein at a far more profound and consequential level. Dealing with a by-product is much like dealing with a symptom — you have to address the source, the sickness itself, if you wish for it to disappear. Otherwise, you’re looking at a series of perpetual Band-aids.
Who I truly am is perfect, enough, and missing nothing. The identity is simply the roadblock to my expression and experience of who I really am. The identity may cause some success, but it hardly generates lasting fulfillment. Love — not for the superfluous warm and fuzzies, but for the sake of getting that close to one’s humanity — is the access to a life worth living. I can notice when the identity is at play, robbing the boy of all his joy and wonder. This isn’t something I can think about, for thinking is far too subjective and easily collapsed inside the survival mechanism. I have to look.
I’ll be straight with you: there are some days I am just flat-out insecure. I seek validation and praise like a five-year old requesting his drawing be tacked onto the fridge. I often do this by virtue of writing (pretty easy to distinguish this based on my tone), posting on Instagram, or sharing my accomplishments via trumpet-calls and humblebrags with the people I most admire.
I wanted so badly to be useful because I never felt like I was. I had a taste of feeling like I was needed— that I mattered — and as a result, it had me scared to death to suspend any of the behavior that led to it. To be totally vulnerable. To be wildly curious. To be silent. And it’s now become a paradox: the deeper I focus on being a leader and being useful for people, the easier I fall into the trap of being that way with everyone, including potential romantic partners.
As with anything pure, once commercialized past a particular threshold, virtues barrel right into cliché. They devolve into tips, hacks, quick wins, or something to apply to improve a situation. They become something inherently selfish meant for consumption, as opposed to the contribution they are meant to be for others. They become the exact opposite of what they actually are in essence.
The world we live in is nothing without language, without communication — there is no sense to it, but merely a collection of moving pictures. Language creates the sense, the meaning, the reason, the purpose.
Much of living a good life these days gets collapsed somewhere within the pillars of happiness, morality and love. As powerful as those are on their own volition, all three can vanish quicker than we can even realize we’re losing our grip. It’s not about just making sure you end up with a good life — it’s how effective we are in managing what causes a good life that makes all the difference. Anyone can luck into love or happiness — to create it, is a whole different story.
Thank You For Listening We Hope You... Enjoy! Start your day first thing in the morning. Learn six ways to better appreciate others! Speakers: Nora Amador Willy Amador Dan Whalen Music: The Fat Rat- Monody Bleach; Invasion Treachery What Can You See In Their Eyes Quincy's Craft