The Place

I don’t know which place is my place in life, but I do know I don’t want to be the only one there. What makes me feel so safe with my family, my colleagues, my friends, I fear not having when I’m by myself.

There’s plenty of distraction in life, and it’s not always a bad thing. The same things that keep us from being productive can also be the same things that keep us from feeling alone.

When we could’ve hung up the phone. When the tab was paid an hour ago. When no one dare look at the clock.

But eventually, we have moments we don’t allow anyone else to see. When we’re not as strong. We’re not as sure. We’re not as level-headed. When loneliness walks right through the front door.

This place I speak of, has none of that. It’s more than connection. It’s even more than love. It’s a kind of peace and stillness — where hope, beauty, and gratitude are the only things allowed in.

It’s what I feel in the presence of contribution. When people are vulnerable. When people offer something to propel the community or relationship forward, apart from their own agenda. 

It’s what I feel right now, when I share what I struggle with, and you read it without judgment. Perhaps, even use it as a mirror.

I’ve spent much of my life feeling isolated. And while I’ve feared being alone and discontent with myself, I realized I’ve made it a lot harder than it needs to be.

I had to slow down and wrap my head around the fact that while all I’ll ever need is within me now, it’s nothing without others.

All the self-love in the world cannot make up for our need to play a part in something bigger than ourselves.

This place is available with people — beautiful people who share the same self-defeating tendencies I do. Who crave connection, sharing, and authenticity. Who I can make a profound difference with simply by listening and looking them in the eye.

This place, where faces soften and glow, is meant to be a wire transfer from internal to external.

I’m conscious it’s not easy. Every day calls forth a new challenge. I’m either going to overcome my negative thoughts and feelings or they’re going to take over me. And despite how much I prepare myself each day, sometimes, it’s frankly a crap-shoot.

As long as I keep looking however, I have a chance. 

Because we tend to find what we’re searching for. Often times, something better.

Alone, we see. With others, we discover.